Yes, I know - I could have won the Drama Queen award for that one, but that's what every cell in my brain was thinking. Since I'm heading downhill it's like almost impossible to avoid seeing that dizzying steep descent in front of me. With no other way out of my predicament, I was forced to proceed one agonizing step at a time. I figured out quickly to try and keep my gaze no further out than 2 feet in front of shoe.

This first glimpse of fear would eventually lead me to my journey to conquer a fear of heights. Although, it took many years of frightening events before I realized how much I needed to conquer this fear so I could experience more amazing adventures.

First Glimpse of Fear

I remember my first glimpse into my fear of heights - we were hiking up a steep mountain about 1/2 mile up. Not much of a trail, just straight up. I'm all good going up, plus it's a good heart pumping leg burner.

We admired the view for awhile, then decided to head back down. OK, I also need to point out there was nothing big enough to grab onto in case you loose your footing on the loose gravel.

I barely took 3 steps and had to look down... down... down. That's like super steep. And there it was: panic. WHOOOAA, full on fear of heights took control. I mean.... I could really die up here.

Photo below right is an inside courtyard on the ground floor where you can climb to the third story if I remember right.

As I began the ascent, I again had got spooked because the stairs had 3 measly little cable wire along the outside edge. And of course, no handrail.

The thick walls were at various heights, which created the 2nd, 3rd and 4th stories. The tops of the walls functioned as walkways ranging from about 30 inches wide to maybe 4 feet wide.

Each side of the wall's walkway usually had a a little guard rail about one foot high. I repeat: one foot high.

Back to my story - 3 of my friends started across a walkway, and I was wrapped up in a historical conversation that I continued to follow behind them. About 20 steps in, I came to my senses and froze. My brain was screaming inside itself as I began to tremble. Not realizing a 4th friend was right behind - she gently touched my shoulder and said, "it's OK, I'll hold onto you so you can cross". I tried to sound as calm as possible and said, NO no no no.... I can't.

She tried to calmly urge me on - to which I could only respond in a very panicked voice asking her to back up. She moved her hand off my shoulder and suddenly my world shrank to a bubble, a few feet around me. I could see the walkway in front of me, and nothing but air on either side of me, and I didn't hear anything else except my own terrifying thoughts.

I looked down at my feet once and knew.... nope, can't do that because I could see the mere 6 inches of walkway on both sides of my feet - along with the sheer drop down to ground level if should happen to fall in either direction. For sure, I could not go forward.... way too far. My only option was to turn around. I was paralyzed. Oh Lord, how am I going to turn around?

My legs were shaking beyond my control, and I was in full panic mode. To be honest, I'm not even sure how I was able to turn around. I remember saying help me Lord, and after some amount of time - blinking and realizing I had maybe 15 feet or so to go back to the large, main walkway. That was the most terrifying experience I've ever had.

My third fear of heights encounter was thankfully nowhere near the same level of terror as the one in Portugal. It was a pretty warm, 95 degrees F. day with 4 small dogs. FYI: Hack to keep dogs cool - carry an extra insulated water jug to pore down their head & back. Works great.

The hike is downhill for 1 1/2 miles to an emerald lake you can explore at the bottom, and then across a vehicle bridge and up the other side of the river. Everybody took advantage of the cool lake waters for a quick refresh.

About halfway back up the other side, I realized we were drinking the last of the water until we got back to the car. The dogs were all doing great, but I could feel that I'd pretty much sweated out everything I'd had to drink.

I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but I've always worked up a sweat every time I exercise - even more so when it's hot outside. So luckily, we only had about 1/2 mile left to the parking lot. Suddenly the trail ended, and there was a footbridge.

This bridge was nothing more than a log sawed in half, about 30 inches wide. My first thought was - not a problem, I'll just hike the 3 miles back down and then back up the way we came. Oh yeah.... can't do that because I'm out of water and the worst part was we were barely 2 blocks from the car. So I made the choice to cross the bridge and face my fears.

My daughter took her dogs across and then stood there and stared at me, egging me on. Not helping I yell back. I struggled with a plan - how would I get across with my 2 dogs which were smaller than hers. She made the decision for me, and man was I grateful.

She tied her 2 dogs to a tree and walked back and put one of my dogs under each arm and walked back across. That left me standing there in amazement as to how she was able to manage that. Well come on, she hollers at me. It's a fairly good trek across this log for somebody with a fear of heights, so I holler back at her to chill for a minute.... or 2.... or 10.

I know it took me at least 10 minutes to start walking, and once I did it was pretty much a white knuckle trip all the way. I prayed each step I took across that stupid plank. Once I was back on solid ground and my legs relaxed from their shaking, I told myself I needed to conquer my fear of heights. Walk the Plank, Eugene Oregon.

First Time to Voluntarily Walk the Heights

We're here at the Trees of Mystery in Klamath, California. This was the beginning of my journey to conquer my fear and walk the heights.... voluntarily.

BUT, don't go crazy on me - I'll never want to jump out of flying airplanes or go bungee jumping. I'm interested in doing the "normal" kind of activities that are fairly high off the ground like suspension bridges. Key words here = fairly high.

The entire week before going, I prayed and meditated on the treetop canopy trail. I tried using that mind over matter trick to get my mind to actually believe it is NOT fearful of heights. Well that was an epic fail. I guess I'll just have to practice over and over again until I can do it with only a mild level of concern!

I made the decision to tackle this first and as I stood at the bottom, looking up at the suspension bridges on the canopy trail, I had a momentary flutter of panic. But, I pushed on, determined to get some joy out of this adventure.

Find out what happened on the: Treetop Canopy Trail, Klamath, California.

Conquering Your Fears

If you're experiencing fear and what seems like an unsurmountable obstacle like conquering a fear of heights - there are steps you can take to conquer your fear. Start by figuring out exactly what it is you're afraid of. With my fear of heights, it was the thought of stumbling & falling which was amplified if there were little to zero support structures to keep you from falling and becoming paralyzed. It would literally kill me if I couldn't live an active lifestyle.

1. When you first notice a fear response - stop and sit down if you can. Start inhaling slowly and deeply, holding your breath a few seconds before you exhale. Focus on your breath. Do this for 2-4 minutes. You should feel your mind calm itself and your body relax.

2. If you have a higher power, now's the time to tap into that. It's my faith in God that brought me thru those terrifying moments. Meditate or pray that you can overcome your fear. Thank your higher power for helping you. Believe you have the power to be a conqueror.

3. Believe that chances of you falling are practically zero. Except in the case of the Castle walkways - because there was no handrail. But find a couple things that you know are true that will keep you safe from harm and believe it.

4. Keep a couple bible verses or other positive statements that you can encourage yourself as you're facing an fearful obstacle.

5. Bring a friend with you to encourage you, or quietly support you as you face a fearful obstacle.

6. Start with smaller challenges and practice that until you're comfortable to move onto something bigger. Conquering your fear with smaller obstacles will give you the confidence to keep going.

7. There's professional help and other self-help resources available to guide you to success.

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